Showers, Funerals and Deep Thoughts

It's been an emotional week, to say the least. 1) I went back to my hometown for a baby shower and wedding shower of two of my best high school friends. There were five of us girls who were really close through school and have remained in touch. We were together again after a long time. 2) Grandpa P (Mr. Prince's maternal grandfather) passed away the Sunday I was out of town. Services were Wednesday and Thursday and we spent lots of time with his siblings and extended family this week. 3) And after being in large crowds of people who love to google over babies, it was an emotional roller-coaster when telling people how old Myra was, them mentioning how small she was, and in some instances noticing the "differences" in her and other children they know her age.

Me, Becky's sister Heather, Becky (mom-to-be), Amanda, Cory (hostess), Lindsey (bride-to-be)

The wedding and baby shower were great! Much more sophisticated than others I've been to. =) At the baby shower there were Mimosas and fancy keish and the entire wedding shower was a wine tasting event. We even went to a winery for the Bachelorette party! I tried 9 wines that Saturday and actually found ONE I liked. I bought a bottle for Mr. Prince and my anniversary in June. I can count on one hand how many alcoholic drinks I've tried, and only ONE have I ever liked! And, it's not even made anymore...go figure! It was great to see my girls again....and ALL together! That doesn't happen very often. I used to visit home 4-5 times a year when I had 1-2 kids, but after #3 came along, the visits have dwindled down to a long summer visit and Christmas. Though, after Myra's hospital stay we didn't even go home this past Christmas and this was the first time all of my friends had even seen Myra! I've been known to be a baby-hog, so I'm not sure if they all even got to hold her, but it was great to visit and just be with them all day long. As a mom of five, I can't even remember that last time I got to have a Girl DAY! Sid the Science Kid and Miracle Myra were the only kids I brought on the trip, so it was a nice break...sort of. Would have been better if I had someone to nurse Myra in the middle of the night..... A mom can dream, right?

We had the baby shower from 10am-12pm and then the wedding shower was from 2-4pm at Cory's house.....

Becky looked adorable in her brown dress! (I totally want one for a future pregnancy...ha) This is the best picture I could find with her belly in it. Her mom and sister and her are unmistakingly related. It's a good thing!

Here is me and Lindsay at the winery.... Isn't she fab?
We all used to say we would stay friends, despite the known phenomenon that you move past your high school friends and lose touch. Well, we've beat the statistics thus far. 10 years! I think that's pretty impressive. Love you, girls!

I was able to visit in IL a few days longer since Mr. Prince took bereavement leave most of the week. I had a good trip home, a nice visit with a friend on the way, and was home in time for the visitation on Wednesday for Grandpa P. It was great to see family we don't see every day and remember Grandpa together. I found it amusing the priest prayed, asking God to allow Grandpa into eternity. All I can think of is how's he's already been there for a number of days, days which have no time restraints there. No need to ask, Kyler made sure Grandpa knew Jesus before he passed. *smile* I didn't attend the mass and burial on Thursday, but all Grandpa's grandsons wore one of his bow-ties as pallbearers. They looked great. I look forward to visiting the grave-site this spring and seeing Grandpa and Grandma laid to rest there together. I will think of them often and remember their legacy. One in which I could never live up to, but one to copy my life after. You will be missed Grandpa P...

I am still a little uncomfortable around "normal" babies Myra's age these days. Yeah, I've been there four times, but seeing the view from the other side of the fence is an eye-opener. Now, when I see the little boy at the Library on permanent crutches due to Spina bifida, I smile at him...and the mother. And I think about how awesome it is that this little boy has the ability to walk. And I tell him he is as fast as SuperMan on those crutches! And he smiles big. And when I see a little girl with thick glasses reading at the table, I think about how adorable children are with glasses and how awesome that she can read the small print in that book with the technology of today. And I even think about the moms with "normal" babies and children that I pass. That they have no idea - like I did for 6.5 years - that there is this whole other world of moms with children who have some type of special need. And I thank God for their child's perfectly round head that is growing and developing. And I pray they someday completely understand the blessing that they have. And I pray for each and every swollen womb I see. That they do not have the same experience that Myra had. That they are healthy. We all say we want a "healthy" baby, but then discuss that we really want a boy/girl, green or blue eyes, a tall football player or a graceful ballerina, a doctor or a nurse.... I pray for health above all else now. And I go home and kiss my own four perfectly round heads and even the slightly warped balding one. Just a whole new perspective.

I think as Myra gets older and her delays become more apparent and her small head more noticeable, I'm going to have to come up with some brief explanation for strangers. I know they'll ask. I know they'll pry. I don't mind so much if I can maybe educate them. Maybe ease their uncomfortableness with people with disabilities. And people with big families. I have no idea what that little synopsis will be yet, but I'll have to work on that soon. Of course, I have no idea what Myra will be in the future either, but I have extremely high hopes! =) Regardless of what is going on today, God moves in our lives daily and has shown His ability and desire to heal Myra in more ways than one. I expect miracles. I think I always will.

I have been doing some research this week on visually impaired infants. Did you know that 90% of a what a child learns in their first 3 years is through vision? Wow. So, now I'm looking into how to teach a child with visual impairments. I do believe that Myra's vision will improve (so do the doctors), but I have to still have to teach and interact with her where she is at right now. So, researching has begun. I read visually impaired or blind children will be behind developmentally, independent from their intellectual abilities, simply because they need to be older to understand this dark world around them before they start exploring it themselves. They will often not reach for objects until 12 months, and things like crawling and walking cannot be achieved until they reach this point. They are delayed in holding their heads up because they don't have the visual clues to tell them to do so. So, now we have no idea if Myra is behind due to her vision or due to neurological issues. Annoying. But, I thankfully have been doing some things right - like showing her different textures and listening to different sounds/music - but I feel like I have a lot to learn. I hope it doesn't come to all that I've read - braille books, walking sticks - it's all a little overwhelming if you read too much and think too much. And, I DO read too much and think too much sometimes...

Myra's journey keeps bringing me to new forks in the road. I feel like I'm getting further and further away from my old life as I explore this new land and learn this new language. And, I feel like I won't be anywhere for too long. That there will always be new forks in the road. New languages to learn. New people to meet. I've never been a traveler. Sure, I'd love to see Spain or Paris. But, I don't care to spend the money, book the hotels or find childcare. I'm happy with our little house in Indiana. But, apparently God wants me to learn how to travel in a new way. Chase him through the tall grass and rocky creeks. I'm trying, but my shoes are new and stiff and I keep having to take them off and take a break. I've even tried to find my way back home by myself a few times. Back to the familiar. Back to the days when my other six month olds were sitting up, filling bibs with drool, chewing on toys, laughing as I play peek-a-boo. I got majorly lost and had to listen for Him to find my way back. Sometimes I walk, sometimes I run and sometimes I drag. Sometimes I enjoy the new flowers on the path and sometimes I curse the unfamiliar winding in the road. But, I know He'll always be there. To lead the way. To carry me when my burden is too heavy. Too lay down his robe so the path is smooth. I depend on that. I probably would just make a tent and stay somewhere if I didn't know He was leading me and preparing the way for me. It's a new journey, but isn't every journey a new one? And if we look back at the journey and find ourselves closer to Christ, doesn't that make it a Great journey? So, I'm on probably one of the Greatest Journeys of my life. I guess that makes it all worth it.

Ginny Owens' song says it perfectly....

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

Visiting Grandpa P - this time with Pictures!!

Well, we were thankfully able to visit Grandpa P again this week. On Sunday Grandma K called and told us we needed to come say our goodbyes as soon as possible. With a birthday party to plan and execute and going out of town on Monday for Myra, we weren't sure if we'd make it. We are thankful he's held on long enough for us to!

We video taped the visit and Grandpa said all the things he usually says. Talked to Mr. Prince about being a good cowboy and eating his beans (from childhood), told Myra she was sweet just like her Mama, asked a few times if Myra was Mr. Prince's baby and if she was #5 and then mentioned he knew she probably wouldn't be the last.

I love Grandpa's voice. I'll never forget his voice. And I hope I hear it again this week.

Ezekiel kissing Grandpa - he saw Grandpa kiss Myra and wanted his own lovin'!

Mr. Prince and Grandpa - this is the closest grandparent to Mr. Prince
and he will dearly miss him...

Grandpa loves babies, and Myra is no exception - he even got to nibble her ear this time!

All the kids wanted to hold his hand, but were wondering
why he was bandaged up and bleeding. They don't quite understand.

Kyler has developed a special love for Grandpa and keeps asking to visit him,
I think because he knows he might not see him again.
He was happy to know Grandpa knows Jesus and will be in heaven when he dies.

Grandpa has been transferred back to his nursing home into Hospice care. He was drinking Pepsi when we visited him and I think had a beer last night! He's ready to go I think. He wants Grandma K to be there. We will visit him as a family tomorrow evening if he is still around.

We love you Grandpa!

Visiting Grandpa P

Grandpa P is Mr. Prince's maternal grandfather. He lives at a nursing home 30-40 min away, but ended up in the hospital nearby due to pneumonia. Because Myra HATES the car, this is our first opportunity to see him since her birth. Apparently, he has been asking to see "the baby" for quite some time...

We saw him on Sunday, but he was a little out of it and had an oxygen mask on that made it hard to talk to him. Today he was doing much better! Each of the kids held his hand and talked to him. I brought my camera, but because I was rushing to get the kids out of the car for the valet man, I forgot it! But, the images will be forever imprinted in my mind...

I won't forget how Grandpa smiled as my 3-year-old shyly smiled back at him as he told her she had beautiful blue eyes...

I won't forget the large, bruised, worn hands intertwined with perfect, chubby toddler fingers and the young, innocent eyes looking up at the wise, sad eyes...

I won't forget Grandpa squeezing Myra's sleepy face saying "don't you just want to eat those cheeks" and just staring at her with a quiet happiness about him...

I won't forget my 6-year-old who, as soon as he found out Grandpa was close to 120 (the days God limited human life to) told me we should ask him if he believed in Jesus, so that we could tell him if he didn't. I won't forget how impatient he was to ask him when we got there, nor how Grandpa chuckled as he said "Yes, of course....don't you?"

I won't forget the three different times Grandpa counted the children, always knowing one was "missing" from the five, nor how disappointed he was when I told him Paul was working...

I won't forget how sad the children seemed when I told them as we left that I wasn't sure when we'd see Grandpa again...if we'd see Grandpa again...

I won't forget my 5-year-old saying that Grandpa would be ok if he died because he would be with Jesus and Grandma...

I do so hope we see him again soon...and next time, I'll bring my camera!